So many faults, so little time...
1
By blkhorse
Oh, Gods. Disney at it again.
I was already fed up with the ‘white, straight, skinny and helpless’ act that Disney was up to, and was never a big fan of musical movies to start, but this?
Oh noooo.
I’m a huge geek when it comes to ancient mythology, and whoever made ‘Hercules’ was apparently 100% ignorant mortal. Them and their romanticized views of virtually everything, can turn the Titanomachy into a PG love story that we use to educate first-graders. The music’s mediocre, comparing it to some of the stuff that they’ve come out with in the past, but it gets annoying as Hades after awhile. The animation is...WEIRD, but on top of all those little things, I’m gonna address the BIG issues.
First of all, H E R C U L E S was his Roman name. This was supposed to be a Greek movie, and his Greek name
is H E R A C L E S.
Okay, so, what’s up with Zeus? If you look through mythology a bit, you’ll notice the too-obvious fact that he is...kind of a jerk. I could make a list of things Zeus is, like Womanizer, overly-prideful, self-centered, but the dead-last thing on that list would be ‘Loyal to Hera’. In this movie, he is in what appears to be a happy relationship with her. He is also shown as this ‘big and strong alpha male with no faults whatsoever’.
Hera. It was Hera, portrayed as Heracles’s mother. For the LAST FREAKING TIME, that is not how the myth goes. In the myth, Heracles is born a D E M I G O D. NOT a full-fledged god. He is a son of Zeus and Alcmene, a mortal woman. Because Zeus had been...messing around...with another woman, Hera was in RAGE MODE. She spent pretty much all of her time trying to kill Heracles, who’s name actually came from her...you guessed it. Trying to kill him.
All the gods are so messed up. FREAKING WHY? Hades does NOT have flaming hair, and he is not a villain in the myths. He’s just grumpy. You would be, too, if you were forced to spend your immortal life with a ton of dead people. Hermes is NOT an old man, and I caught that joke about Orpheus. News flash: he’s dead. Also, where the heck did Persephone go? She’s my godly parent, and I do not appreciate her complete absence.
The river styx is not filled with souls.
The last thing: the ‘titans’. They were NOT giants. They were NOT monsters. They were not imprisoned in the OCEAN. They were imprisoned in what we believe to be Tartarus.
Signing off,
This was the S.A.S.S.Y